I'm sure as you read the title to this post, some thoughts of panic came across your mind. Usually this statement of "God what have you done to me?" is a phrase said in anger, desperation, or confusion. However for me tonight it is just the opposite.
Tonight after the Night for the Nations event where a bunch of college students got together to pray for overseas missions I was wrestling with some bitterness and decided just to surrender it all to the Lord. As I laid in bed I said "God take my bitterness, worry, feelings of how crappy I am, and everything else Satan throws at me and replace it with Your joy. " The amazing thing is that because I trust in Jesus, God responded furiously to my prayer.
As Romans 12:1-2 talks about God transforming our minds to know and delight in His good and pleasing will, the Lord did that for me in my bedroom.
He started to take me back in time to when I was a freshman in college. A dumb kid messing around on his dorm floor, slacking in classes, looking for 'fun' stuff to do, selfish, manipulative, lazy, a heart of stone, and completely devoid of purpose. Then God took me through the process of hearing the Gospel, responding, raising my hands for the first time in worship, feeling the spirit of God change my heart, and remembering that power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in me daily.
God then brought me back to working at Bible camp for the past two summers, where he showed me (a dude that used to think he didn't like kids) that working with youth is indeed is my passion. He glided me through all the cool experiences I've got to have loving other people, serving His church, and reminding me that He didn't need me at all but like a good father (who takes His son to work) I had the privilege of all these wonderful experiences.
The Lord then reminded me of all the people that have poured into my life, spent time with me, loved me, rebuked me, taught me, laughed with me and cried with me in times of weakness. Finally God brought me to the reality of where my life is presently heading... in two short months I will be graduating, and will most likely be working full time with youth in the criminal justice system, while pursuing a masters in theology. This all on the shoulders of a dude who four years ago thought the best things in life was easy living, getting what I wanted all the time, and making loads and loads of cash.
I laid in bed, had the biggest smile on my face, and blurted out the statement that best expressed my heart at the moment " God what have you done to me?" Whatever it is, keep doing it. For Your glory.
