God is Bigger than...

God is bigger than the boogie man. Well it's true!

The funny thing is, I had to look that up on Google because I for sure did not grow up with Veggie Tales.

Before age 18 I knew nothing about Jesus Christ except that it was a fun expression to use when you hurt something. Kinda like "God damn it!" (excuse the French)

Some of you guys know that I've been struggling this summer with depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide. Before this summer I thought depression was a falacy, like obesity, stop shoving food down your throat and you'll be not obese! I tried to not think about being depressed but alas I was still down and thinking about playing chicken with a semi as I drove along the highway, just for kicks.

God has taught me this summer that depression is real, and it really really sucks. Only recently though has the Lord taught me amazing things that have taken that away, and even more important set me again on fire for the Kingdom.

For the past two years, since I've been a believer, the better part of it has been serving in various youth ministries. I love discipling jr highers and high schoolers, its so much fun and the next generation just excites me. But hidden deep in my heart was a lot of animosity (whao big word). It means to feel jealous or bitter towards someone or something. The question is why? Well it's because many of these kids I work with come from amazing Christian homes, and deep down in my heart it's something that I've always wanted ever since becoming a believer.

This summer it hit me real hard, I stopped thanking God for anything. Nothing to me was good enough. I thought to myself, well since God didn't think it was important enough to give me a Christian family, than I should just not serve Him anymore with a full heart. My ministry suffered, and the worst of all is that I was constantly bitter and resentful of God and of people. I constantly compared myself with other people. My first question would always be, did God love them more? What did God give them? Did He give that to me?

My interactions with others grew more and more distant and I hated being around people. And being a huge extrovert that scared me. I've always been energized by people, I'll share a secret, when I work out, or go running I always think of people that I want to protect, and be running somewhere quickly so I can save someone. I'm a people person. Everytime I hit a punching bag I think of a kid who is being abused by a family member and I'll hit that thing til my knuckles bleed because deep down I want to know I can protect that kid out there. Cheesy but true for me. Imagine being surrounded by an amazing staff of believers that love you, yet you feel like you are all alone, and unable to connect or care about anyone but yourself. It really blows.

This all came to head this past week, my boss where I was working up at a Christian retreat center asked me to consider taking a week off in order to seek the Lord and ask him what was happening in my life. I prayed about it and came together with him and decided it would be best if I took a week off. My heart thirsted for the Word because I knew that was the only thing that would be able to speak truth into my life and heal my depression.

As I read Ephesians 1 I came across a lot of cool stuff..

Vv 4- He chose us before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. (Wow)

Vv 5- Predestined us to be adopted as Sons and Daughters through Christ (God you are good!)

Vv 7- Christ shed blood so that we may be covered and our sin removed (You are amazing God!)

Vv 14- God marks us with a seal, which guarantees are inheritance (Sweet!)

Phil 4:6-7 hit me very hard. "Do not be anxious about anything but with prayer, and petitioning with thanksgiving present your requests to God, and the peace that transcends all understanding will guard your heart in Christ Jesus."

It then hit me, God has lavished upon me blessing after blessing. From an amazing college ministry, to the best friends I could imagine or ask for, to families that have blessed me and shown me what a Christ centered family looks like, to the food I eat everyday, the car I drive, the body I have, the clothes I wear, and I could be thankful to God all night long and it would not end!

As I read more, Ephesians 3:20 says that " Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

God is able to do with us, and work in us far more than we can ever imagine. The thing that holds back the work and things God has in store for us to do is ourselves. It is not what God has given us or not given us. Some of you reading this come from great Christian homes. For that you are blessed. Now use it. Some of you don't. Well me neither, don't be bitter about it. Count how you've been blessed, God loves you and has blessed you more than you know! God leads us on different paths for His glory.

We as Christians need to stop playing the victim. There are always things you could want, people you wished that would love you, but God is enough! He is our portion and He is our prize. And he is with us wherever we go.

Jer 29:11 always holds true, it's our choice whether or not we take God's plans for us to prosper, or to cling on to fear and anxiety. Never realizing the full potential that He has placed in us. God can do so much more, more than can imagine. Let Him do it!

Desert Song

"This is my prayer in the desert when everything within me feels dry. This is my prayer in my hunger and need my God is the God who PROVIDES."

Brooke Fraser of Hillsong United wrote this song for her churchbody. What many people don't know is that a few days before it was to be performed at service, she had a premature delivery of her baby boy, and at 26 weeks old he died a day after birth. Many told her to take some time for herself and delay the song, but she refused.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QemZQKKJbRU

Watch her face as she performs this song the first time before Hillsong Church. You can see pain in her eyes, but it is overshadowed by glory of the Lord. Her emotion erupts when she sings the chrous

"All of my life, in every season you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."

I love how she delights in Jesus even when circumstances just stink. I look back to this week, and even though it was crappy with sickness, missing obligations, constant pain my body, and finding out that my spine is messed up. It would pale in comparison to losing a life that I carried inside me for months and months.

I love Philipians 4:4, simply "Rejoice, Rejoice! I'll say it again Rejoice!"

God I pray that I can be like Brooke and be able to find peace in Him.

One year older wow!

Turned the BIG 20 last week, okay its really not that big. I still have those cute baby cheeks, thanks Ben Hunt.

So I feel a little older, maybe thats because my lungs are messed up from whatever bug is floating around in there. But what has changed in a year!

Load this up with a lil scripturez..

Galatians 2:20 (New International Version)
20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I love how PERFECTLY this verse describes the change in the last year. Remembering last March I felt a ton of insecurity in faith, in myself, and my lack of idenity in Christ. Talking with friends made me feel like I'd just gotten off the Christian shortbus. Atonement, justificawhat?? Now scripture knowledge isn't as important as knowing God, but it does help us know God better and allows to teach others about God, which wow God has so graciously blessed me with!

Goin into summer I didn't know what to expect, workin at this camp. All I knew is that I needed Biblical Basics 101, 102, 201, 202 fast, stat! Being asked so many challenging life questions
by coworkers and even parents was the most humbling and growing experience ever! I had no choice but to dive deep in the Word because Lord knows my advice that comes from myself is cheap!

Different situations such as a friend hurting me badly, challenging experiences working in ministry, leading and being led, family struggles, personal struggles, and important life changing decisions all led to me and God hanging it super tight.

Ben Jen is so right, life is a series of important choices. Do not think of the choices we make as unimportant or there always be a chance to redo. Every moment is a second chance, but we are given a certain amount of choices, and we have to harness them!

1 Tim 4:12

1 Timothy 4:12 (New International Version)

¹²Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

God was gracious enough to let this verse be manifested the other day. Timothy whom Paul was writing to was probably a little older 15, it could go either direction of that. Timothy was a man, who by today's standards would be a boy, who was filled with the holy spirit.

An 8th grader named Sam, who by is a stud, a Godly stud gave an awesome message last Weds at 180 (cornerstone's middle school ministry). He talked about different ways we could give God the glory, through what we do, through our activities, how the perishing don't even know they are perishing, and how even facebook could be used to show God's goodness.

He used some awesome verses such as..

1 Corinthians 1:18, about how the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.
Romans says that beautiful are those feet that bring good news.

Sam hit me really hard because to my parents this good news is foolishness. He also hit me hard because we truly have a privilege to be messengers of God. We more than conquers we are co-heirs in Christ. That is a highly esteemed honor.

Sam also hit me really hard because he's 14 years old, and gave a rocking sermon. It was rocking cause he spoke from his heart, and it was all to the glory of Him who lives on high. As I found out more about Sam's past and how he used to be and how he is now further impresses me.

Too often we put limitations on our youth when they truly have none. Thank you God for showing me so clearly that you can work so awesomely!

His Community

Last weekend a few friends and I took a trip to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Before visiting a Bible College I had this interestingly foolish thought in my mind that kids at a Bible college were weird. The night started off with me meeting up with an old friend from the summer, her name is April. It was awesome to see her again and to reconnect on things that happened since summer, and all that God's been doing in our lives.

Moody has around 2000 students and it has 5 dorms plus an area somewhat like the memorial union at Iowa State. So it was pretty packed on a Friday night, with many kids, from so many different countries just hanging out. Going through the cafe area my first thought (coming from a secular university) was "I need to evangelize." Suddenly I remembered that only 17 percent of all Moody students who apply are accepted, and the first requirement is to have a burning fire for God. Than I thought oh, they probably would evangelize to me if they knew where I came from haha..

I told April what I was thinking and she laughed and said " if you tried to evangelize here they'd tell you to go across the street to the housing projects and share with some drug dealers."

It then really struck that I was going to live for the next few days in a community of believers. Although of course sin still existed, but everyone here was following the Lord. It was a surreal feeling and it was quite unreal.

I went up to my friend's dorm and the first thing I saw when I got out of the elevator was a floor of guys with only boxers on playing soccer in the hall way. Okay hold on Bible college? That was the most intense soccer game I've ever played, I think I got nailed on every part of my body with that soccer ball except my man area. Which praise God He protected me there. The weekend followed with an intense prayer and worship session from 12 Am- 6 Am in the morning.

The weekend was amazing because the kids there were so awesome. They just bled Christ and were really cool and social at the same time. They honestly would be much cooler in the world's eyes than Iowa State students, because they knew how to have fun and also they were living for the eternal God! Wow, it was amazing to walk down the hall and know that you were talking to someone who had the same burning passion as you.

This weekend so encouraged me because God can make not only Moody like that, but Iowa State, not just Iowa State but America, not just America but the world! I am just so excited just imaging a world of people that love with the love of Christ, and who are living for eternity.

Jesus said that "The fools build their home on shifting sand but wise men build their foundation on the rock." What would the look world like if instead of governments, people, and countries living on shifting sand but firmly rooted on the rock?

God you blow my mind! I will do my best to see to it that this becomes reality. Only through He who gives me strength.

Sick

Two weeks now I've had this little bug in my lungs and it isn't super fun by any means. Sometimes I'll cough for minutes and a friend of mine even had to remind me to cover my mouth, I said to him I'm so sorry I just cough so much these days that I don't remember to cover sometimes.

Being sick however does give God a big window to teach me some cool stuff. In Matt Jesus said "What profits a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?" The thing is I am learning that the soul is eternal and the world is temporal. All the things of the world are temporal. My body, my money, my education, my worldly life. Now my roommate and I both work out quite a bit. For a variety of reasons, but a big one is that we want to look good and be strong. I don't believe what David meant in 1 Kings 2:2 when he told Solomon to show himself a man was for him to lift weights all the time. Is there anything wrong with working out? No. However I find myself forgetting to think in an eternal light some of the times.

Fact- the death rate is 100%.

Fact- While man looks at the outside God looks at our hearts.

Fact- He is stronger, Christ is Risen, He has saved me.

Probable Fact- I doubt Jesus keeps a total gym around, we won't need that crap in Heaven!

Fact- We need to start living for the eternal, and not keep the focus on the here and now.

"Don't come in here!"

It was a rather uneventful Saturday, I had spent my day looking over notes for my upcoming exam in my criminal law class. A day where I haven't shared the Gospel or had spiritual conversations always feel like a waste of a day in my mind and I wasn't about to let a perfectly good night end up like that.

Salt Company a campus ministry does an impromptu event called "Friday Night Risk" in which believers will go out and just boldly share their faith with others and ask God to do what we can't, to heal, to bless, and to save. After thinking about it for 2 minutes.. I came to the realization that Friday could easily be replaced with Saturday. I called my best friend Evan and asked him if he wanted to go share the Gospel. We prayed and went out to a scene familiar to both of us earlier in life, Welch Ave. We walked around and talked to various bouncers who had a title of "door greeter" (must be the new nice sounding way of saying bouncer). As we walked down Lincoln way a couple of guys came out of Friley Hall, stood by the door and yelled "Don't you guys come in here!" So Evan and I stopped, and looked at them, and of course we walked towards them. They ran inside and we went into Friley from a side door, and that's when the night began. Soon after entering we were attacked by three guys with silly string aerosol canisters. They ran away and we chased after them. On this chase we ran into a group of 10 college students playing "Sardines" which is hide and seek except everyone seeks and one person hides. We made some small talk and they invited us to play sardines. We played for an hour or two, (I found the best hiding spot, behind the washing machine pipes :) and then during this time we got to share with them a bit and had some cool conversations. It was such a great time, occasionally we would get ambushed by those three guys with the silly string, and eventually we had CAs looking for us. You know how Jesus says in order to inherit the kingdom of God you must become like little children? Yeah its true!

One of the students we met was a guy named Adam and he invited the group playing Sardines to his dorm room. At around 1 am we were all congregated in his room just talking and having a good time. A guy there named Lupe had just gotten out of jail because he was at a party and decided to drive with a .16 blood alcohol level, and he hit another car, drove away and then drove into a ditch. The sad thing was that his only concern was that he had gotten punished. We talked to Lupe about just how its a miracle he wasn't hurt, and his friends said that as well. We also talked about how he could have hurt someone, or even killed someone. It was really cool to see that he was finally starting to realize what his actions could have done. As the night went on Evan and I got to share with the 10 people in the room, and two of them are coming to Salt with us on Thursday. And to think this night of fun and relationship building came from four antagonistic words "Don't come in here!" Word of advice: If you're around Friley and you're told to go away, come in! We'll be doing this for Saturdays to come with a group of 3-4 guys. Thank you Jesus for opening a great new ministry!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness the hardest thing for me to do in my Christian walk with other people. The people that are hardest with are my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I ask myself why? The past half year God through real life has taught me so much about forgiveness. Its been tough, because forgiveness is so contrary to our media, and world view.

I think what goes through our mind sometimes is that people who know Christ shouldn't do certain things that non believers do. Although that is true in some aspects, because they know or should know the Biblical way of dealing with problems and to extend grace. However everyone, especially myself are far from perfect. God has really taught me so much this year, as it says in Romans, how can you judge? Because you're doing the same exact thing! The thing is that we all sin. Big or little we sin.

You've got a friend in me

John 15:15 (New International Version)

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

I am so honored to be called God's friend. He truly is my best friend, heck He gave me life, He saved my life, and is letting me live true life. Who wouldn't want to hook up with Him? Sitting on the bus today I was just listening to a conversation by two guys who were talking about various subjects ranging from various women they've had sex with, to how generally they hated various people, and then about some girl in their phil 230 class that dared to talk about God and her views on Him. "How dare she bring religion into this, God I hate Christians."

Little anger burned inside of me, cause Christ is a RELATIONSHIP! I talk with God, I feel His presense and I honor Him. How dare he not let someone talk about a relationship? I find the "Don't talk about religion" comment just plain dumb. A relationship with God is not someone that is offensive, its only offensive cause atheists don't choose to have one, and that is unforunate and they are missing out but its a choice.

I will speak boldly cause its the best relationship in and out of this world!

Twenty-Four Seven (24/7) Prayer!

Hey all! So Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ) has a new thing going on that is really cool. 24/7 prayer! Prayer is such a big deal because all these ministries we have on campus, our lives, and all the things that make up what we do and act would mean nothing if God was not behind it!

So I know we all take quiet times or in my case (should) so a good way to spend it would be to activity seek the Lord in prayer and to PRAY for different people in your life, the campus overall, and those around the world that DESPARTLY need God's love.

To sign up to pray go to this google spread sheet: http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AgBiZg7lP0u8dGloTVEwSzR3bTYtZk1jN0h1aFlXYmc&hl=en

Be cool if you went to the prayer room to do it. St John's has graciously given us 24/7 access to that facility and its just great to be able to pray together as a collective body.

Directions on the church: So saint johns church address is 2338 Lincoln Way
Ames, IA 5001. It is very close to the MU it is next to the bank there. You will need to go around back of the church by the parking lot to get into the church through the back. When you get to the back doors you see a fence with a gate and through that fence is a path to the door we will use to get to the prayer room.

Sign up, and be faithful!

China

Where do I start? I almost don't want to write this because I know that my words won't be able to do this trip justice. God worked in so many amazing ways, from our times on the old people's playset, to our shenanigans of our portable Christmas tree. Jesus gave us so much grace with allowing us to share with over 600 people. This should be very fun for the summer teams in East Asia to follow up on.

I don't think how could I describe my love for China and its people at the moment. For the first time in my life I feel connected to China, because my love for it is beyond my comprehension. Despite some funky translations. Oh ya know, Da piss room.

I could write more but this is all within my heart! Words are cheap!

Love is an action word

Get off yer butt and do something. Godly. Period.